The Ohtori Gakuen Handbook
by StoneLion
Summary: The handbook for the upcoming year at Ohtori Gakuen.


"The Ohtori Gakuen Handbook"  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Shoujo Kakumei Utena, but I wish that I did.  
Author's note: Flames, constructive criticism, rants, suggestions and anything else are welcome. This story takes place the year after Utena left, with the assumption that the student council is still in place and a new Rose Bride exists. There are spoilers for the movie and the series in here, so beware. Unfortunately, I have been unable to get the use of bold, italics, different fonts, and different font sizes to show up correctly, thus the current format.  
  
Section A: Welcome  
  
Welcome to Ohtori Gakuen for the upcoming school year! This handbook should answer any questions you have about Ohtori Gakuen and should leave you well prepared for a great academic year! I look forward to another proud year of outstanding Ohtori tradition! If you have any more questions please feel free to contact me: 555-4444.  
  
Ohtori Akio  
School Dean  
  
Section B: Rules  
  
Subsection A: Rules Concerning Student Safety  
  
Guns of any sort, small knives that are easily concealeable, pepper spray, and other such weapons are not permitted on campus. Any student who makes an infringement upon this rule will be subject to a conference with the school dean. Note: Epees, sabers, rapiers, soul swords and other items used for sword play are permitted only in designated areas.  
  
Students may not use a broom as a weapon when engaging in sword play.  
  
Do not pick the roses.  
  
"Glomping" is not permitted near windows, high walkways or on hills.  
  
Students may not make, eat, or bring curry of any sort on campus. Any curry found on campus will be confiscated and students involved will be dealt with accordingly.  
  
In case the castle is coming down, please keep in mind that the existence of miracles, shining things and eternity will not be found at that moment and evacuate the premises as quickly as possible.  
  
In case of revolution, please get into one of the numerous underground shelters and wait until the all clear is received before coming out.  
  
Subsection B: Student Conduct  
  
Students may not enter the forest behind the school. Students found violating this rule will be subject to a conference with the school dean.  
  
Students may not bring pets other than fish to school. Any other pet found on campus will automatically become the property of the student council. Ex: Cows, sheep, and kangaroos are not tolerated on Ohtori's campus.  
  
Students may not wear anything other than the school uniform they are given in the beginning of the year during class hours. Girls may not wear the boy's uniform.  
  
The music room may not be used for anything other music-related classes, clubs, etc. Students may not share wind or brass instruments. Ex: one student may not toot another student's horn.  
  
Students may not park in the teacher's parking lot.  
  
Students may not participate in promiscuous activities while on campus. Any student or students found in violation of this rule will be referred to the student council president.  
  
Students not in the student council are prohibited from entering the student council building. Any non-student council member found in the building will be forced to take care of the school's rose garden for exactly one week.  
  
Students may not use fire at any point during the year except when cooking or in a science class. Any student or students found in violation of this rule will be referred to the Mikage Seminar.  
  
Students may not use the power of the Rose Bride to manipulate their scores during finals week. Overall, manipulation is not tolerated on the Ohtori campus.  
  
Students may not shine together, either now or on some future date.  
  
Subsection C: Ohtori Teachers  
  
Students may not threaten their teachers or take actions against them. This includes but is not limited to, pushing teachers down flights of stairs and/or setting them up for unwanted dates.  
  
Teachers are subject to being figments of one's imagination. Students should not be surprised if a teacher exists one day and does not the next.  
  
Subsection D: Other  
  
Students should not take any notice of the various music types playing in the background.  
  
Students should beware all flashbacks, especially those involving rose-filled coffins.  
  
Students should not take any notice when one or more girls consisting entirely of shadows appears on a nearby wall. Do not provoke the "shadow girls" and do not make eye contact.  
  
Students may ask where Ohtori is, but will never receive a clear answer. Answers include but are not limited to, France, Japan and/or hell.  
  
Section C: Endnote  
  
All students are expected to know and follow Ohtori Gakuen's Handbook as closely as possible. With student cooperation, this can be a great year for everyone!  
  
Final note: Handbook subject to revolution. In the event of a revolution, please take into account that all offers, agreements or other legal bindings made by the school are null and void. 


End file.
